Suicide, a subject often misunderstood, rarely openly talked about and in many cases the cause of much pain, shame, guilt, blame and ultimately deep routed fear. Fear of what others may think, fear of a dark guilty secret getting out, fear of the world knowing you or someone close to you tried or actually did end their physical life through suicide.
But, and this is a BIG but; It doesn’t have to be this way.
Suicide in my case was not the end, and for various reasons was just the beginning. The beginning of an incredible healing journey and the acknowledgement and understanding that unconditional love holds no boundaries.
I write from my heart and soul, as a survivor of my own suicide attempt and as a loving daughter whose dear father transitioned home to spirit via hanging 6 years later.
Today I stand tall and proud that I not only survived suicide but also thrived. Thrived in the midst of adversity, thrived in the midst of deep pain and anguish and thrived during the days and nights when the world seemed so dark, un-loving and lonely.
A little about me
I came kicking and screaming into this world in November 1975 and was named Kelly Michelle Walsh. As a little girl I had an obsession with Wonder Woman and often wore her replica outfit. Like most children, I believed in super powers and our ability to change the world. I still do! But more about that later.
Like a lot of people I had suppressed trauma to heal from childhood. In 2009 I took a huge overdose and tried to end my physical life. In hospital I had a profound spiritual experience, travelled through 7 dimensions, experienced the oneness of the universe and the unconditional healing power of Divine Love and was told by Divinity that it wasn’t my time. The message I was given is that love will heal and transform the world. I came around from my experience with my arms across my chest and opened them in slow motion and proclaimed that I had met God and angels. The following evening I received a vision and shouted out 9 poignant words:
“Like minded souls will collaborate to change the world!”
These powerful words have never left me and deep in my heart and soul I knew one day I would be sharing my experience in collaboration with others to the wider world. I now feel I am acting on my soul’s purpose but it hasn’t always been that way. Like a lot of people who have had profound spiritual experiences I didn’t initially feel mentally strong enough to talk openly about what had happened to me, through fear of rejection or potential ridicule. I tried desperately to forget what had happened and focus on rebuilding my life.
A number of years later I realized that trying to suppress what had happened to me was no longer an option. It had happened, it was part of my soul’s journey and I had to deal with the emotional rollercoaster connected to my experience in the best way I could. My life was never going to be the same again. My primary focus was to try and integrate my experience into my daily life, whist exploring ways of sharing the love, wisdom and knowledge I gained during my brief visit to the other side. Little did I know, that my experience and the understanding it gave me would prepare me for one of the most painful experiences I was going to endure in my earthly life. The transition of my father, David Walsh by suicide in September 2015.
The pain I felt when we received the telephone call to say he had hung himself is indescribable and the repercussions of his passing and my subsequent family breakdown have not been pleasant. However I truly believe that what I learned during my experience and the subsequent spiritual and healing path I have been on since have helped me to cope with this tragedy in a far more peaceful and dignified manner than I could of done otherwise. I also gain further strength in the knowing that my dad is still very much around me and one day we will be united again.
My dad, like me, had always been a highly sensitive soul and very spiritually aware, however he often suppressed that side of himself to fit in with society. Two weeks after he passed, I had an awards ceremony to attend but didn’t really feel like going. However I asked myself, what would dad have wanted me to do and I smiled as I imagined him saying “go princess and shine and sparkle for the night.” I managed to summon up the strength to get ready and set off in in my car to Blackpool. On route I silently asked my dad to give me the biggest sign that he was with me. I pulled up at the car park opposite the venue and as I did, the car park attendant put a cone out and said “sorry love we are full”. I was just about to drive off when the man suddenly turned around, took a second glance, smiled and said “can I tell you something, you look absolutely beautiful tonight. In fact, you look so beautiful I am going to move my car and you can have my spot”. I was completely taken aback and had tears welling up in my eyes. I replied “I cannot tell you what that random act of kindness means. I have just lost my dad and that meant the world. Can you tell me your name so I can thank you in person” and he just looked at me with the biggest grin and said “my name’s Dave”. You guessed it Dave was my dad’s name and I knew in that instant my dad had channelled his unconditional love via this unbeknown car park attendant.
Now some people would say that was just a coincidence and I would reply that our deceased loved ones, God and angels are communicating with us all the time but whether we are open to accepting and receiving these messages is totally down to us and our spiritual awareness.
Losing dad and dealing with the family breakdown has not been an easy process but in many ways it has helped me grow in character. I now recognise, that since childhood, I have been seeking love and acceptance outside of myself when the only person I really needed to seek that from was me. My life experiences to date, including the pain and suffering, have made me who I am and I wouldn’t change a thing. I believe I chose this path coming into this world so that one day I would be in a position to help others with their healing journey to self-love and acceptance. I am particularly passionate about raising awareness of suicide and speaking openly and honestly about my experience at both ends of the spectrum.
I really feel more suicides could be prevented if people understood that it is impossible to end their life as our soul and spirit continues with the same issues we were having difficulty with here on the earth plane, and at some point they will still need be dealt with, either in the various dimensions or during their next incarnation.
It is surely better to stay in the physical body with your loved ones around you and work through your perceived problems so that you can heal what needs to be healed rather end your physical life. I also hope my story of God’s unconditional love helps people who have lost people to suicide to know that their loved ones are not being banished to a life in purgatory and they will one day see them again. I realise once again how blessed I have been having the experiences I’ve had, as they have helped me deal with my grief enormously. I believe the time has come to end the stigma associated with suicide. We need to encourage people to be able to speak openly and honestly about their feelings around suicide, rather than having to hide them like many do, as a dark guilty secret.
There are more young adults under 35 who kill themselves, or attempt to, in the UK and internationally, than any other cause of death. The latest statistics I heard was that one person every forty-three seconds ends his or her life. Perhaps if we could get a life – affirming message out into the world then more suicides could be prevented. If this approach stops just one person from taking the suicide route then surely it’s a message worth sharing.
I know it didn’t help my dad and you could argue that he had no fear of death due to the things I had told him, and yes, you could be right. However truth be told I don’t think he ever believed what I told him about my experience as other people close to him had made out I was crazy. However since his transition he has confirmed to me via an incredible channeler that he now understands all the stuff I used to talk about. He has had his life review; it was painful at times, as it is for us all, but he is now continuing to grow and heal in spirit. His role now in spirit is to help others heal who have transitioned via suicide and he wanted to pass on the message that I too would be helping people affected by suicide on the earth plane. This made me smile, dad and daughter now working in partnership to bring about positive, loving and lasting change. What a dream team we are!!!
I believe most people’s issues stem from an element of low self-esteem perhaps from childhood experiences. Broken adults often create broken children, and the cycle continues.
To break this pattern we need to help all children realize how truly special, beautiful, and amazing they all are and help them to see that as a reflection in others. We have a duty of care to help them develop healthy, happy, hearts, minds, bodies and souls from birth. Education should not be solely focused on academia. It should be more holistic, addressing life skills, creativity, and teaching children how to stay true to our authentic selves.
I have experienced the transformational Power of Divine Love in my own life. It is without doubt the greatest healing modality on the planet. I am living testimony of this.
Through the Power of Divine love we can transcend all our earthly fears and live a harmonious, joyful and peaceful life.
I have come to realise that it is not our life experiences, perceived as good or bad that define us, but the way we think about our experiences and act upon them.
For many years I was on a course of self-destruction because I held on to a childhood core belief that I was not worthy or loveable.
These feelings of unworthiness forced me to push myself to extremes, making decisions that were not love- based but ultimately based in fear.
Fear of not being successful enough
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of not be lovable enough ……….. the list could go on!
It was only when I had my heart, mind and soul opened to the power of Divine Love that my life really began to change.
By learning to love and accept myself as Divinity loves and accepts me I allow the miracle of creation to start working with me and through me.
We are wrapped in loving protection at all times. Nothing is hidden from Divinity. It knows everything about us, and holds no judgement but instead loves us unconditionally.
I believe our ultimate path and purpose is to learn to love ourselves and each other as Divinity does, and stand side by side in love and friendship to SHINE LIKE THE STARS WE WERE ALL BORN TO BE.
Today and every day I am #Emerging Proud through Suicide and will continue to do so until it is deemed I am ready to go home and my work here is done!
The more we Love, the more we Care, the more we share and together through the Power of Positivity we change the world!
Kelly Walsh/Positivity Princess Kelly xx
Introducing our KindaProud Rep for the #Emerging through Suicide Pocket Book of Hope and Transformation; Kelly Walsh
Kelly Walsh exudes positivity; if you met her now it would be hard to believe that she’s experienced not only the survival of her own suicide attempt, but also been bereaved by the suicide of her father. Kelly now perceives these experiences as making her the person she is today; proud, positive and full of unconditional love.