All the sleigh bells ringing & eggnog drinking in the world can’t make dealing with divorce over the holidays easy. But there are things you can do to manage your feelings and keep your joy in tact.

Here are 10 ways to get through the holidays merrier-ever-after:

  1. Honor your feelings. If you feel bad, sad, alone, or angry, acknowledge what you feel so that you can make it through.
  2. Exercise flexibility. Plans change. Schedules don’t always work the way you want. Don’t get stuck in rigidity…
  3. Be intentional. What feelings do you have and what are the results you want to have for the holidays? If you focus on what’s wrong, that is what you will get.
  4. Practice gratitude. Maybe it’s not perfect but what can you be grateful for?
  5. Visualize what a great time you’ll be having! Instead of dreading the boring family dinner, look forward to the connection you can make with your family. Share a laugh or a story of a shared experience.
  6. Let go. Show compassion. Especially if children are involved. Don’t get into the trap of “one-up’s man ship” and try to win against the other parent at the child’s expense.
  7. Find the gift in the small things. Remember your childhood, was it the big, splashy toys or spending time with your parents or friends is what meant the most to you? Show that to your children.
  8. Do something for yourself. Holidays are filled with obligations. Give yourself space for self-care. In whatever form that means to you.
  9. Be careful of what you say in front of your children. Even if you feel frustrated and irritated, please keep in mind the children don’t need to be in the cross-fire.
  10. Compromise is your friend. Holding on to your plans in spite of what comes up can cause tons of anxiety and strife. Remember to have fun!!!

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