You know what sucks about writing a book on how you lost the weight and kept it off?  You start worrying about keeping it off so you can promote the damn book.

You know what happens when you start worrying about gaining weight?  You put your jeans on after wearing yoga pants all winter and say, shit, this is not how I remember these pants fitting … and it’s not because they are too loose.

This is so interesting to me when I can look at it as an observer rather than as my old weight obsessed self.

The latter whispers words like you’re a fraud in my ear.

But simply as an observer I can see exactly what is happening–it illustrates the whole premise of my book, and how I lost weight in the first place.  When you feel at peace with food and with your body, at whatever size it happens to be in the moment, you are in vibrational alignment to enjoy the healthy eating style that is optimal for you, and any excess weight will take care of itself.

When you are feeling stressed and judgmental about food and your body it’s a different story.  Feeling stressed actually prompts your body to hold on to weight, and at the same time it does nothing to help you employ some self care strategies that you know intellectually would get you right back to feeling energized and light.

I know exactly what to do to release this slight bloat I’m experiencing—hell, I just wrote a book about it.  Yet I seem to be doing practically the opposite, and making myself more stressed in the meantime.

When I let my observer-self shine through this morning, it simply asked, “Why?”

Why am I not taking care of myself right now?

The answer:  because I am about to put something I have created out into the world, and despite the fact that I felt pretty good about what I was producing as I was writing it, now that it is going to become a reality old, shitty not good enough thoughts are sneaking in while I’m not looking.  And they are having a ball wreaking havoc with my system.

This could be a great time for me to self-destruct and throw away everything I’ve worked on, and a huge dream in the process.  My old self would likely take the opportunity and bail, running an unending loop of thoughts like, you have no idea what you are doing. Who is going to listen to you anyway?  No one is going to read this—it sucks.  No, you suck.

But thankfully that peaceful place I found within myself as I have gone through this journey to weight loss and health, still holds strong.  It can reside with the doubts and fears that pop in unannounced, and it keeps me moving forward despite them.JOE Balboa Cover

So my fondness for wearing “activewear”, and in turn being anything but active, need not be a signal of my impending demise.  It’s just a nudge, reminding me that I am actually OK, that everything is actually OK, when I let go of the angst and come back to that peaceful place.  It’s a nudge to take care of myself because I deserve it, not to prove anything to myself or anyone else, but simply for that reason alone.

And you deserve it too!

What are you doing to take care of yourself today?  Leave a comment below!

You can check out my new book The Joy of Eating~The Anti-Diet Solution for Weight Loss and Health here.

Gwen is a Reiki Master and Emotional Balance Practitioner, Certified Holistic Health Educator, author, blogger, and green juice connoisseur who is passionate about supporting others to lead more peaceful and joyful lives, with a special focus on helping women release the cycle of chronic dieting and make peace with food and body. Gwen lives in Newburyport, MA where she writes about how everyday events can lead to transformation if we only pay attention.

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