It’s almost February, and with messages for Valentine’s Day all around us it’s impossible to avoid thinking about love and all of the feelings that come with it. But whether you are reading this in February or July, the topic of love can be equally charged and confusing.

So, what is love?

First let’s get clear about what love is not.  Love is not any of the gifts, activities or behaviors that companies market to you. It is not the act of contorting yourself, your beliefs or your desires to please someone else…anyone else. It also is not religion or any other set of beliefs or behaviors. And the big one… It is not tied to any of your relationships. Sure, you can feel love or share love with others, but that’s not the core of what love is. I can hear some of you saying, “But love has to be about other people, or at least experienced with other people.” My question back to you is, “If that were true, why don’t you feel completely fulfilled when you are in an awesome relationship with a romantic partner, your best friend, or even your children?”

It’s because of what love actually is…

It’s you!

You are love.

You are a part of All That Is, the awe-inspiring, all-encompassing creative expression that includes each unique person, planet, flower, mountain, sunset, laugh…everything! We are love, made from the expression of love. And your experience of yourself (of love) can be shared, but at its core it is the solo unique expression of your true nature. That is the simple, vast, complex truth.

The good news/bad news in this truth is that no person, religion, marketing campaign or social strata you find yourself in can define you (aka Love) or define love for you. But that doesn’t stop them from trying. There is so much energy coming at you in in the name of love trying make you behave in ways that please other people, or buy things that benefit the company selling the idea of love to you. And even with all the books, movies, commercials and voices of your family and society telling you what love is, I bet that it doesn’t feel quite right when you commit to an externally-driven experience of love. Now, on the surface that doesn’t sound so bad, right? If love cannot be defined for you by anyone else then you are free to just be you. No one else can live the life you came here to live.

But that can also feel a little daunting. In some ways it would be a lot easier if we could just be satisfied and happy within the various categories we’ve been sorted into: woman, man, brother, mother, black, white, skinny, fat, rich, poor, smart, dumb, Muslim, Christian, liberal, conservative… I’m sure you’ve tried playing out these roles hoping that when you finally get it right that place of deep longing inside you will finally be fulfilled. But if you are reading this I am going to assume that you haven’t yet ‘gotten it right.’ And you won’t. Because the infinite wisdom of the Creative Force designed this human experience so that we have to turn our attention inward to find true fulfillment and love.

Now you might be thinking, “If she is saying that neither she or anyone else has the authority to give me a definition of love (myself), why write this blog?” It’s because I believe that it is well within your power to truly know yourself as love. As a spiritual advocate I can help guide you inside to remember who you are, but it’s up to you to be fearless in your inquiries and in the face of any challenging discoveries, and to always expect that the connection to the answers will be there.  Remember that you are love. The same love that is the Instigating Force driving all of creation. Therefore, you can never be separated from It. You can forget your connection, but it is never lost and you need no special training or ritual to be aware of what you are and the wisdom that is your birthright.

Here is a link to a video related to this post that includes a guided experience that you can use to help you start your journey, and to a PDF that outlines the exercises from the video.

And, if you’d like to start exploring now, here is another exercise you can try:

Take a moment to still yourself and do whatever practice you use to have a dialogue with yourSelf and see what comes up.

Ask yourSelf, or whatever wise aspect of All That Is you connect to most easily:  If I am part of the Whole, a reflection of All That Is, and if that Creative Force is Love, is it true that I am love too?  And if so, what does that mean, and what does it look like and feel like inside of me and in my life?

Be in relationship in this process and share your doubts, fears, frustrations and confusion about why you sometimes feel disconnected from love. You can visualize the conversation in a meditative state, do automatic writing to share your feelings and then write what you receive in return, or speak out loud and then be still to hear or sense the loving response.

One thing to note: The voice of Truth is always loving, even when it says difficult things. If you hear judgmental or mean responses you are likely still running through the tapes in your head. Recenter and try connecting again. You can trust yourself to feel when you are finally dialoguing with the Truth.

I would love to hear your insights, questions or frustrations around the topic of love or your experiences with these exercises, so please share in the comments. And if you would like to learn more about Soul Advocacy check out the website where you can call or email to find out about joining a class, coming to a retreat or working 1:1 with me.

Sending you lots of love and support in your unfoldment!

Death, divorce, marriage, retirement, career changes, empty-nesting, moving...Whether we instigate a stressful event or feel like the victim of one, navigating the transitional waters of change is hard. Julianna Lovett is a transition coach specializing in leaps of consciousness. During these challenging periods of personal, professional or spiritual upending her clients learn how to master the art of change. Going from overwhelm to empowerment, they gain confidence in their ability to maximize the opportunities hidden in life’s inevitable transitions and consciously create a deeply fulfilling life.

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